It is time.
Did you read that with the voice of Rafiki coming to mind?
There are certain phrases that I have come to associate, without any hope of future disassociation, with specific films. The usefulness of being able to quote any of these lines is doubtful, but they nonetheless consistently will pop up in my head. Usually I can keep it under control without verbalization. Sometimes I say the lines, and Steve knows what I'm talking about (but he still probably doesn't think its as funny as I do when I bump my belly on him and say "Get out of my church!" It's from Disney's Robin Hood, when the Friar kicks the Sheriff out of the chapel with his rotundness. It's only funny to explain when my sister Jasmin provides an excellent impersonation, sometimes while playing basketball.).
Other times it's a dreadful connection. I was distressed to realize, as I've been practicing relaxation techniques, that when I try to close my eyes and mentally command myself to Relax, Jackie Chan's voice chimes in, "It'll come." I don't even like Shanghai Noon, probably haven't seen it since 2001, and the line is from a scene where Chan is trying to get Owen Wilson to urinate on a sheet so they can bend bars with it and escape jail. Classy? Not at all. Embarrassing? Slightly. But did it relax me? Definitely more than me talking to myself did.
On Being "So Close to Done":
People ask me how I'm feeling all the time, and I usually answer, "I can't complain." I feel like it covers enough without going into detail. Honestly, I am pretty uncomfortable, especially in the pews at church, which is where I get that question the most, but I'm not in pain and overall feel very healthy and strong. That's been a surprise these last couple weeks. I expected, from hearing it from all over, that by the end I'll be so through with being big, not sleeping, and just out-of-sorts enough that I'll want the pregnancy done so much that I'll even be willing to go through labor. Right now, excitement is making more willing and less scared of it all everyday.
Other recent developments of late pregnancy:
I don't park between big cars or else I won't be able to fit out my door and its just not worth the squeeze. I usually only pick something up if I'm alone, or else I just wait for someone else to do my bending. I notice every stroller's brand, potential safeness, and wheel size, sometimes with mental diagrams like on Stranger than Fiction. I see obese children and wonder if the fault lies in genes, their parents' habits, or public school lunches. For every upcoming movie release date I come across, I calculate how many days from my due date it is, or how old my baby would be at the time of the theatrical release. I'm the only one who is allowed to joke about my size or shadow. Sometimes I "nest" and color coordinate everything in Steve's closet. I have discovered that even my fingers can get rounder. I discovered that an innie belly button forced into an outie is really sensitive. I enjoy taking walks in my neighborhood and giving that poor man, just out to get his mail, a big scare by faking labor pains right in front of his house. If I look really distracted, even while you're trying to talk to me, its most likely because my baby has hiccups, and they're, well, distracting. Everyday I wake up and think this might be the day, though we have a month still, because I can't help it. Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering what on earth I will do if our baby has red hair, of all things. I can watch Baby Story episodes, even the very births, without getting emotional now. I am always warmer. I have found that although I can put on my own shoes, its really nice when someone else (Steve) ties them for me. I'm always tempted to answer "girl" when someone asks what I'm having to see if their reaction would be any different. I take my time going both up stairs and down stairs. I can't hold other babies right now, its too surreal. I can't remember my pre-pregnancy size or shape very accurately. I can't read a scale that I'm standing on, I can't not touch my belly when he's moving, and I can't decide what clothes to pack as his going-home outfit.
Despite all of these changes, I've found that my favorite things since the beginning of this pregnancy are still the same. I enjoy taking long bubble baths, eating fresh churros, playing Scrabble on the waterfront with Steve, and having so much to look forward to.
